If you are able to get this close to a Drift mallard, it is probably already too late for you.
Drift Mallard
CR 25
XP 1,638,400
CN Tiny magical beast (extraplanar)
Init +12; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision., blindsight 60 ft.; Perception +41
Aura alluring aura (300 feet, DC 28)
DEFENSE
HP 600
EAC 41; KAC 42
Fort +23; Ref +23; Will +26
SR 36
OFFENSE
Speed 30 ft.
Melee wing attack +37 (12d12+25 B, plus impossibly downy; see below)
Ranged laser eyes +35 (11d6+25 F; critical burn 5d6)
Space 2-1/2 ft.; Reach 0 ft.
Offensive abilities gaze
Spell-like Abilities (CL 25th; ranged +35)
6th (1/day) - ethereal jaunt (DC 32), plane shift (DC32), interplanetary teleport (DC 32), subjective reality (DC 32)
5th (3/day) - call cosmos, greater synaptic pulse (DC 31), holographic terrain (DC 31)
5th (3/day) - call cosmos, greater synaptic pulse (DC 31), holographic terrain (DC 31)
4th (at will) - confusion (DC 30), dimension door (DC 30)
STATISTICS
Str +0; Dex +12; Con +8; Int +0; Wis +15; Cha +0
Skills Intimidate +46, Mysticism +46, Acrobatics +41
SPECIAL ABILITIES
Impossibly Downy (Su) To touch a Drift mallard is to know precisely how soft a duck can be, and other secrets of a strange multiverse. Creatures who come into contact with a Drift mallard are mentally assailed by a flood of disjointed memories, sensations, and experiences; this happens if a creature is struck by the Drift mallard’s wing attack, if a creature strikes the Drift mallard with an unarmed attack or natural weapon, or if a creature attempts to grapple the Drift mallard. The target can attempt a DC 28 Will saving throw; this ability has no effect on creatures without an Intelligence score. If the target fails its save, the Drift mallard deals 17d10 damage to the target, and the target is exhausted and stunned for 1 round. If the target succeeds at its saving throw, it instead is affected as if by the spell vision, using their character level as their caster level for the purpose of the caster level check and negating the requirement of a computer or similar device, and are fatigued for one round.
Theories about the Drift mallard’s origin are as strange and varied as the tales about the creature. Leading religions theorize the duck is a creature of chaos sowing madness in its wake, while scientists contend that it is a multi-dimensional entity able to waddle between dimensions as easily as it’s terrestrial kin waddle between land and water. Small cults worship the creature as a god of adventure, chaos, and infinity, while biotechnicians and physicists have ruined careers attempting to synthesize their own version of the duck. No one has been able to explain why the creature has laser eyes, though most people agree that they’re awesome. It remains unclear whether there are many Drift mallards, or whether the creature is singular in nature; some theories even posit that every Drift mallard is just the same Drift mallard, paddling up and down the streams of time and reality on it’s own inscrutable mission.