The Human Musk Creeper

 I’ve been on Twitter for a damn long time now.

When I made my first account, it was to chase the trailheads back in the Alternate Reality Game days. I would text updates to 40404, coming back to my computer ages later. When I was living in a rented room without a working computer, I downloaded the Twitter app for XBox. I have made personal accounts, professional accounts, in-character accounts, joke accounts, gag accounts - 8 that I can remember but there's likely more lost to the interblags.

You could say that I’ve been around the timeline a few times.

The Starfinder Facts Twitter has always been a labor of love, but I’ve personally grown more and more skeptical of my use of social media. As a writer growing in my craft, I find myself spending more time than I want on consuming other people’s things, and I am making the choice to simplify so I can finish more things of substance for you all to enjoy.

I’m not deleting the Twitters; I built my side career on there and I don’t want to just give that up. I'll still update when events warrant, so that you can keep track of what I get up to out in the world, but I'm no longer doing the daily almost-lore that got us here. But if my refocus on my own creative energies can help make an insecure manchild with more money than God and less sense than a golf ball regret his decision to buy up my old hangout because I helped contribute to a couple of numbers dipping… I mean, that is what my character would do.

Furthermore, to keep having a connection to all you wonderful people, that means we’re going to reopen the Starfinder Facts blog for regular goodness.

So now that I’ve recipe-blogged you all…

Human Musk Creeper

Egads what a monstrous creature.

Made up of two arms, two legs, and other miscellaneous organs and whatnot, the human musk creeper lurks at places where the ground is enriched with memes and inanity, like online forums and public restroom stalls. An ideal environment for the human musk creeper isn't inhabited, but draws occasional humanoid visitors the aberration can transform into thralls. The human musk creeper enraptures low-intelligence creatures by pretending that ideas other people had many years prior are its own ideas. It then psychically alters their brains to believe that it is perfectly normal for a successful CEO to communicate in memes and unfounded misinformation. This step is a critical one in the propagation of the human musk creeper's ideas, as they all ultimately include some fatal, tragically dumb flaw, like "what if we honeycombed an earthquake-prone city with tunnels for cars instead of making workable transit" or "what if space could only be colonized privately by the ultra-wealthy?" The human musk creeper might try to take over a website, but it lacks the faculties to do so at a profit, and is likely to scare off victims before it can succeed, leaving it with only its own thralls for hunting.

Human Musk Creeper CR 2

XP 600

CE Medium aberration

Init +2; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +7

DEFENSE HP 23

EAC 13; KAC 14

Fort +3; Ref +3; Will +5

Weaknesses internet mockery

OFFENSE

Speed 30 ft.

Melee harmonic shrieking knife +7 (1d4+2 So)

Ranged yellow star conqueror +9 (1d12+2 E&F; critical wound)

STATISTICS

Str +0; Dex +2; Con +1; Int +0; Wis +0; Cha +4

Skills Bluff +12, Culture +7, Disguise +12, Intimidate +7, Profession (Con Artist) +12

Gear officer ceremonial plate, harmonic shrieking knife, yellow star conqueror

ABILITIES

More Money Than Sense (Ex) A human musk creeper can get equipment equal to its level+2 by spending twice as many credits as the item costs. This overpayment does not generally bother the human musk creeper due to a family fortune in the trade of pretty, useless rocks.