So we have some good news, and we have some bad news.
The good news is that we’ve decided that it’s time to reopen the Starfinder Facts blog yet again. It’s spring, that time of orbital rotation when young organisms’ thoughts naturally turn to fantasies of nebulas, lasers, and of course, service drones turned murderbots by nefarious intent. The eagle-eyed among you may have noticed that we’re tweeting more and more, and the very astute among you may have noticed some curious posts… though more on that in a minute.
We’re not sure if the blog will be the monthly publication that it formerly was, but we have a couple of ideas already loaded into the canister, so worst case scenario you will see at least a couple of goofy ideas come out of us over the summer. We’ve been off exploring other systems and settings, so we’re hopeful that the outside creativity and the increased focus on production will allow us to continue to pollute your timeline with the thematically-absurd-yet-somehow-mechanically-servicable content that you came to know and begrudge.
The bad news is that we came up with this idea during a busy month with just a few weeks before PaizoCon, something that we especially wanted to commemorate by restarting the blog. So we had to cut some corners and thus, we don’t have any new rules content for any of y’all. Writing’s hard, folks, I don’t know if you knew.
Therefore, instead, please enjoy this musical assault on the ol’ listening orifices, and we’ll make sure to get you some rules crunch next month.
Be seein’ you, space cowboys.
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(Oo oo, Help me baby!)
(Oo oo, Help me baby!)
All right! Throw up all six,
Cuz I’m fly like strix
And I’m a rapper and a helper through and through.
I’m real furry,
But you don’t need to worry, see -
I got a whole crew helping me.
Now gather round,
There’s skittermanders in town,
And we throw down a real collaborative sound.
I blaze up all the hyperleaf ya got on ya shelf,
So just let me introduce myself!
My name is Nako, pronounced like THAC0,
You hurt my friends and I will attack-o,
And if your foes ask me for help,
I’ll turn around and stab you in the back-o.
I'm 3 feet tall, y'all,
And like a Veskmas tree
You know you’re gonna fall when I decide to cleave thee.
I got six arms,
I come from the Veskarium,
I'm real fierce, so enemies I’m scarin’ em.
I try to be nice, straight skitter charm,
But sometimes you gotta bust out a longarm.
I'll eat up all your pastries and your candy too,
When you’re a hyper helping monster what’s a ‘mander to do?
Yeah, I eat like crap,
I know it’s awful,
It never stopped me from being helpful.
I give aid!
I like to help out a whole room.
I once blew up an AI - it went BOOM!!
I'm red,
I make my enemies stone dead,
I’m giving help whether or not it’s wanted.
I'm always lookin out to give a helping hand,
And I even got a backing band!
The Help-ty Dance is your chance to give some help.
C’mon!
Do the Helpty Help, come on and do the Helpty Help.
Check me out y’all,
Do the Helpty Help, just watch me do the Helpty Help,
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Helpty Help,
C’mon,
Do the Helpty Help, a-ha, do the Helpty Help.
